Open With Care

Until recently I used to take childish delight in opening any package, from a mysterious gift delivered by the postman to a simple box of chocolates. But now the scenario has changed.

Containers for me are becoming more and more objects that merely contain and refuse to let go.

Today, my bumbling manual equipment leaves me completely baffled when I am confronted with objects encased in cellophane tape, red and black tabs suggesting ‘pull’, little dots saying ‘push’ and semi-perforated lines saying ‘open here’. Even birthday presents are becoming less undoable.

The marvel of cellophane is indeed a marvel in eternity. It has no beginning or end. There is a small gesture of consideration for the consumer by way of a tab saying ‘pull‘.

Obediently I pull and what happens? Off comes the tag and the cellophane remains intact. The cigarette packet is, of course, the obvious example of this daily frustration. But there are countless others.

Earlier eggs were put in square old- fashioned boxes. No eggs broke in transit unless a heedless person managed to sit on them.

The eggs that I procure from the grocery don’t break in transit either. But one frequently does break when I try to extract it from the cell in the egg container, an elaborate job, all wedges and cut outs, more intricate than a honeycomb. 

Containers for me are becoming more and more objects that merely contain and refuse to let go. Like the shoe polish tin, a round metal box with the instruction: To open insert a coin. What coin, they tactfully refuse to specify.

I tried a letter opener which will open no letter. Finally in frustration, I hurled it against the wall. And that, dear readers, is the best way to open a tin shoe box. It’s also a good way to nick a chunk of plaster.

Tin shoe polish with the instruction “Press” is no good either. For, whenever I press, the top flies up, eventually leaving me with more shoe polish on my face than I ever intended to put on my shoes.

I suppose the packaging people are doing their best, but I wish they could make things less complicated. 

mfarooqui@alnisrmedia.com
www.xpress4me.com/letters