Special differences

As a young working mother with two pre-school children I was often caught between a rock and a hard place.

My mother – my rock – a shift working registered nurse who raised five children encouraged me to juggle work and home and be financially independent. My mother-in-law, a homemaker who also raised five children, gave me a hard time with her constant criticism of my housekeeping and parenting methods.

I’m glad I listened to my mother, but my mother-in-law also had a valid point.

British researchers now find that modern mothers are turning out spoilt, pampered children because they are under pressure to manage every facet of their children’s lives. I beg to differ.

Mothers have always managed every facet of their children’s lives whether it is their diet, health, education, career choices and choice of partner. It is also a mother’s prerogative to spoil her children.

And women have always worked. In the 19th century, it was in the fields, tending cattle, fetching and carrying water and firewood. In the 20th century, two world wars forced women away from the hearth and into the workplace and yet the mothering and housework waited for them at the end of the day.

My grandparents were luckier than my parents in that they were surrounded by the extended family and childcare was automatically provided.

Working mothers these days find quality daycare and the wheels of life keep moving.

Just as every child is special, every mother is unique and, in my experience, busy mothers – at home or at work – find innovative ways to ensure the happiness of their children, their spouses and themselves.

To say that mothers must stay at home or must go to work because it may affect their children would be unfair to all women because they do not need to feel guilty about making a choice.

Mothers who gladly give up their dreams and careers to raise their families should be saluted. On the other hand, those who happily juggle a career and family should also be saluted.

However, my deepest respect goes to mothers who must work or must stay at home because they have no choice.

Nirmala Janssen
editor@alnisrmedia.com

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