No child’s play

Traditionally, marriage and children have gone hand in hand and couples who consciously decided to hold back on bringing kids into this world were looked upon scornfully as selfish.

The traditional outlook on marriage, children and extended families, still rings true in many parts of the world. However, the advice to go forth and multiply has slowly changed to go forth and pursue happiness in many other parts.

Many young couples now tie the knot in the hope of permanent wedded bliss and decide not to ruin it with brats who would suck them dry of their money, time and peace of mind and then flee the nest without so much as a ‘Thank you, mum and dad’. Well, a Harvard professor has now revealed that "marriage without kids is the key to bliss".

Professor Daniel Gilbert categorically states that happiness plummets when couples have kids and returns only when they leave the nest.

Well, keeping a marriage going is hard work and caring unconditionally for children is a lifelong commitment that’s even harder work.

Professor Gilbert further adds that the high price parents pay (blood, sweat, tears, money) makes them appreciate their children and they somehow persuade themselves that they make them happy.

My question here is: if kids are not a part of the equation why get married at all? After all the baseline of all marriages is a deep friendship which endures. It also provides a leeway for opting out of a relationship without the legal hassles and the loss of money and property depending on whether a pre-nuptial contract was signed or not.

Some say that kids are the glue that binds families together and others say that children are the natural progression of a couple’s love. Whatever the case, the fact still remains that there is a choice involved and if we do decide to have kids then the responsibility of life-long raising and nurturing belongs strictly with us.

After all children do not ask to be brought into this world, we choose to bring them in.

Blessed are those that have children and ensure that they are happy. Blessed are those who decide not to have children and ensure they will never be unhappy.

My heart goes out most to those who desperately want children and cannot have them.

Nirmala Janssen
editor@alnisrmedia.com

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